By Tracey S. Lawrence
Once upon a time, I was a self-employed graphic arts professional. I designed stuff. I helped clients with their marketing and printing problems. My parents were living it up in southern Florida, and I believed in the Myth of Retirement:
- Stop working
- Spend money like you’re drunk
- Spoil your kids and grandkids
- Do all the stuff you always dreamed of
- Eventually, gently, die in your bed at home
- Cherubs lead you to heaven’s gate
- Cue heavenly choir
In 2003, I learned about the harsh Reality of Post-Retirement. I went to visit my parents in Florida and realized Dad had been covering up his illnesses. He had a lot of issues. He was 75. My mother, who was 74, was very dependent on him.
After a test gone wrong, my father’s short term memory evaporated, and following many misdiagnoses, I realized he had vascular dementia. He knew it, too, and did not want to live that way. My brother and I supported his wish to avoid prolonging his life. My father died in July 2004 at the age of 76. Continue reading
I am a writer. That’s difficult to say when I’m so busy being a caregiver for my mother who is 99 years old and has had Alzheimer’s for 15 years. Mom lives with us. She is in advanced stages now, but was exhibiting signs of Alzheimer’s even while my husband and I cared for my father, who also had Alzheimer’s. No one…NO ONE is prepared for this! There’s no caregiver’s manual that tells us how to do this job.
Marianne Sciucco, Author 